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How Can I Terminate a Flower Thief at a Cemetery?
Updated on August 17, 2018
Chiliad.B. asks from Woburn, MA
14 answers
I need creative ideas for stopping a blossom thief. Iv years ago I had a beautiful baby boy who died 5 days afterward nativity. What would take been his fourth birthday is coming up on July 8. He is buried with my grandparents at Holy Cross Cemetery in Malden, MA. My Mom says that he is in the "not and so overnice" office of the cemetery. Nice or not, I make silk flower arrangements every 2-3 months with a picture of my baby in the eye of the arrangement. I likewise put a laminated note in the blossom box begging people non to accept the flowers. I explain who the flowers are for and say that someone can call me and I will make a blossom arrangement for them "DON'T Have THIS I". Well, more than than half the fourth dimension, when I go to bring the new arrangement, the quondam i is gone. They leave behind my pathetic note and my baby's picture. I have talked to the cemetery workers who say they are not removing whatsoever flowers and that people are jerks (they used a stronger word).
My FIL saw a news study where someone set up a video monitor to catch a flower thief at a cemetery but I tin can't afford that kind of technology. I wish I could, or put a fiddling GPS in there, ya know like a picayune Lojack device. Ugh. I just bought all the silk flowers for his birthday arrangment. I tin can't stand up the thought of someone taking them. This is the only thing I can practise for my baby. How can people exist and then vicious!!!!????
:-(
One thousand.
Advertizement What tin I do next?
Featured Answers
R.J.
answers from Seattle on
Have you lot talked to the cemetery? Normally the grounds workers at cemetaries are instructed to remove all flowers on a weekly or monthly basis.
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M.A.
answers from Houston on
Thousand.,
I hate to "point fingers' only, I would bet the farm that the cemetery employees are removing the flowers...despite what they are telling you. Observe out about the "rules" regarding how long and what kind (IE; fresh, silk) can be placed on the marker.
Because you accept already been asking questions, go a friend to phone call and inquire almost their rules. Tell this friend to act very un-concerned and nonchalont....I volition bet that they volition probably say something to the affect of how frequently and WHY flowers are tending of....it is probably the reason your pictures and cards are left backside.
I am sad this is happening to you.
Just a thought, perhaps some sort of stone or concrete statue would suffice? Peradventure you could take a slice engraved to sit correct in front end of the marker?
2 moms institute this helpful
A.Southward.
answers from Dallas on
At my dad'southward cemetery, they remove faux flowers later a calendar month or so, because the flowers become dingy and such. They may exist telling you they aren't, but odds are, they are.
Peradventure try real flowers side by side time. Call back of the piddling butterflies and ladybugs that will visit the real flowers!
Also, I'thou so sorry to hear of your sweet little baby. Just know, that in my beliefs, he is however very much alive in spirit and probably peeks in at you from time to time and yous volition be able to take care of him ane solar day.
2 moms found this helpful
P.M.
answers from Portland on
Oh, what heartache, Yard.. I'k so lamentable for your trivial lost love.
You lot could try a notation stating that there'due south a camera aimed at the gravesite. The problem is that people might non believe y'all, take the flowers, and experience no consequences. That might only further encourage some people.
You lot could accept a sugariness bunch of real flowers when you visit. They won't last as long, and equally they naturally wilt, they won't be attractive to thieves.
You could consider whether reframing the problem could help you emotionally, because much of our personal suffering is in the thoughts we carry about any state of affairs:
Your baby isn't tethered to the gravesite and won't notice whether the flowers are taken. Isn't he really with yous, in your centre and beloved and memories? That's where he will e'er be the well-nigh existent, for the rest of your life.
Virtually other cemetery visitors have no idea who your child is fifty-fifty if there's a gorgeous bouquet on the grave, so the arrangements you put there are primarily for your ain heart's ease. Later on y'all're gone, yous don't know whether the system is left in place for an 60 minutes, a day, or a calendar month. Can you just concur the image of how beautiful information technology looked, and what it signified to you, while you were there at your baby's graveside?
Specially if the grave is in a "not then nice" section, others who grieve may be people of trivial means. Could you consider the arrangements a gift that tin can be passed on to others suffering their own needs to accolade their dead? I take found this particularly healing with a couple of thefts that I suffered over the years. I saw myself gifting "my" treasures to someone who received them gratefully, or who then experienced a little more happiness or comfort.
What yous tin do for your infant is to love him, now and ever. That has so much more than value than whatsoever gesture, no thing how eloquent.
I and then wish you a calm heart and listen. Blessings.
two moms establish this helpful
One thousand.N.
answers from Austin on
Then sorry for your loss.
Question: Is your organisation weighed downwards or tied/staked downward somehow? Could the wind or incremental weather bravado it anyway from the plot? Or Is information technology sitting on the grass in such a way that lawn-mowers might snag it?
S.B.
answers from Redding on
Love K.,
I'1000 so sorry for your loss and for your heartache.
Having been involved in the cemetery industry for many years, information technology'southward my guess that the flowers are being removed by the staff.
It seems to me that someone low-down enough to steal flowers or vandalize in a cemetery wouldn't have a centre for leaving the photo and your letter of the alphabet.
Many cemeteries have policies about how long things tin be left at a grave site. That goes for fresh and silk flowers, mylar balloons, spinning wheels....
It's non done to offend anyone, but to maintain the grounds.
At that place may be some defoliation as to what the cemetery policy is and the possibility that someone is really "stealing" your bloom arrangements. It's possible that the groundskeepers run into your note and presume that you lot are leaving it for someone else and when they remove the flowers every bit part of their jobs they don't connect information technology because they aren't stealing. They see something that's been there a couple or three months or however long their policy is and they remove the flowers according to policy. That's different than you going dorsum the next day and your flowers are stolen. They may think that's what you hateful by someone stealing your flowers. I don't know for sure. Just a thought.
My family in the due south goes to the cemetery in one case a week and adds new arrangements or takes the sometime ones down. We accept both the upright monuments and the in-footing bronze markers. The cemeteries are beautifully maintained and manicured and while the staff doesn't mess with personal momentos, etc, they volition remove former arrangements after a time particularly if they've been rained on or start looking shabby. That'south why my family unit goes every calendar week. Plus, my cousin does professional floral arrangements and she makes a new 1 for everybody each week.
That's merely their affair. We never make a trip dorsum there without going to the cemetery. It would be unheard of.
Oh gosh....at present that I've blah, apathetic, apathetic'd.....
I googled and found this link for you.
Information technology talks about make clean upward and how long things can exist left at Holy Cross.
I hope this helps.
Again, I think there might be some defoliation and my heart actually goes out to you.
All-time wishes.
http://www.ccemetery.org/Guidelines/HomePage.html
D.P.
answers from Pittsburgh on
I've got lots of experience with the cemetery industry. Flowers are a Large issue for them. Is the marker an upright granite or a flush to the ground bronze type? "Cemeteries " have upright granite stones and "Memorial Parks" accept flush markers. Cemeteries are more tolerant of bloom arrangements, etc b/c they cannot mow over the upright markers. Memorial Parks are all about the advent (uncluttered, uniform) of the park. If yous take an upright mark, I would plant some nice annuals, etc. If you have a affluent mark, I would bet it's being removed from the vase by the staff for mowing....
I'm sad you're in this state of affairs and I'chiliad sorry about your son.
C.C.
answers from Boston on
I agree with Denise. Accept y'all talked to the cemetery management? Maybe they are moving them for mowing, especially in the summer. If someone is stealing them, it is very surprising. Since the 70's and 80'southward with the appearance and peak of the video games to numb the mind, there has been a abrupt reject in empathy and a rising in uncaring attitudes. If this is the work of a thief, information technology would be nice to expose the culprit(s). If the cemetery direction clinch you that it is not their doing, that is a good idea concealing a GPS tracking device inside the flowers, so when they are on the motility yous know where they are going? It would be nice to nip it in the bud. No pun intended.
It would come up under the expression: asset tracking: you tin can plot the real-fourth dimension asset (flowers) location on a map and closely monitor movement. Like tracking your pet for example:
http://gpstrackingsystems.biz/gps-pet-tracking-options/29/
http://www.brickhousesecurity.com/gps-cargo-asset-trackin...
M.P.
answers from Boca Raton on
I had this same problem with my late husband's grave. As others mentioned, information technology might non be a thief. This may assistance: https://floweranchor.com/how-to-proceed-cemetery-flowers-fro...
B.C.
answers from Los Angeles on
Where my mother is buried, the employees remove the flowers every Midweek and mow afterwards. I'yard surprised they leave his picture.
Suggestion: Take a trowel with you lot and plant i spreading, low growth basis cover. Don't allow the cemetary people see you. Others probably won't dig it up and it volition make your child's grave more special.
Promise y'all can feel better.
R.G.
answers from Piffling Stone on
I am so sorry y'all too are having this problem, K.. I take the same matter happening at my parents' gravesite. I've contacted the local police force in the town where it has been happening and he said that it happens more than I'd ever imagine. He stated that it usually happens when people come from out of town to visit graves. He stated they steal the flowers and take them where always they are from to either sell or whatever. This may sound callous but it's been happening so often at my parents' grave until I'm tempted to take razor blades and lace the entire Styrofoam base of operations with multiple razor blades for whoever is intentionally stealing their flowers. I bet they will call up twice the next fourth dimension! I know that sounds barbarous just non as cruel as what they are doing to our loved ones who cannot defend themselves. Good luck, dearest. ❤ If you decide to use my idea, recall to exist careful when you decide to switch the flowers out so that you don't hurt yourself.
L.D.
answers from Las Vegas on
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know it'south discouraging that people feel costless to accept things that are non theirs. Maybe it's adults who are doing but it could just as easy be some foolish kids trying to be cool and making mischief. Kids can practice some really stupid things all in the name of fun sometimes.
I'k just going to requite you my personal opinion and the feeling I accept in my center . . .
I don't think there's a lot y'all can do to keep your flowers from being swiped. But know that the gift you are making to memorialize your son is fabricated from your heart and he knows where your heart is at and what yous accept been doing for him. He doesn't demand the flowers to remain in that location 24/7. He knows you dear him and the act of making the flowers and place them on his gravesite is enough. It would be dainty if the flowers stayed where they are intended merely, there's just somethings you tin't control, specially when you are talking about things left in public spaces. Try not to allow this get to y'all.
Sending y'all prayers of beloved and strength.
B.C.
answers from Dallas on
Oh, how aweful! You poor thing! I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let yous know that my sister just lost her 5 twelvemonth old son and I know information technology would break her heart to have someone do this to her! I am so sad for your loss and I hope that the horrible person doing this either gets caught or decides to quit!
J.C.
answers from Anchorage on
Is there whatsoever way to cement down a clear bloom box or something like that, with a lock on it? I am so pitiful, people are jerks, but this goes well beyond that!
Source: https://www.mamapedia.com/article/how-can-i-stop-a-flower-thief-at-a-cemetery
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